Glimmerings

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May 7, 2004

Emily Yoffe on silence in daily life

Some wonderfully funny writing. Her other columns are good too.

To judge by the number of silent retreats listed on the Internet--Buddhist, Christian, Hindu, Jewish, Sufi--Americans are eager to spend their money to go to bucolic settings for a chance to shut up. But as befits Human Guinea Pig, I would do it homemade and cheap--keeping to my routine, which since I work at home is somewhat like being under house arrest, and skipping the cultivation of a higher consciousness.

To prepare for my temporary vow, I cleared away all my work and social obligations and did some reading. Thomas Merton, the American monk, wrote: "In silence we face and admit that gap between the depths of our being, which we consistently ignore, and the surface which is so often untrue to our own reality." I learned that in Buddhism, one cannot achieve enlightenment without the practice of silence. The Catholic Encyclopedia cites silence's long history: "Pythagoras imposed a strict rule of silence on his disciples." In Christian orders, not speaking to people allows one to better speak with God and is a means of self-restraint.

At the least, our household could use some self-restraint. Normally, the morning routine resembles a Supreme Court oral argument with our 8-year-old daughter playing the part of Alan Dershowitz. Not that first morning. When I woke her up, instead of being greeted with an observation such as, "Stop nudging me, are you trying to break my shoulder?" she quietly said, "Oh hi, Mom, you can't talk today, right?" I smiled beatifically, which required the use of dormant facial muscles, and led her into the bathroom where I supervised her shampoo and shower. It was like our own Zen monastery.

Silent Treatment - Have you ever wished your wife would just shut up? Here's what happens when she does. By Emily Yoffe

Posted by thdyck on May 7, 2004

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